My Christmas Experience

Christmas night in Tokyo. Fell asleep around 12 midnight. During the middle of the night, I awoke in the dark and was staring at the ceiling. What I saw on the ceiling was something unexplainable.  Let me describe what I saw in the dark that night on the ceiling.

I was sleeping on an elevated platform bed, kind of like the top bed in a bunk bed.  This made me closer to the ceiling.

As I opened my eyes in the dark, what I saw was the ceiling “opening up” to “cloud” shaped forms which looked like galaxies and nebulas and different parts of the universe as seen in photos of outer space.  These very colorful stars and gases in blues, pinks, purples, whites, etc. were situated within multiple “clouds” which were slowly moving around and changing shape.  I watched this for what seemed to be 15 seconds, then a second occurrence came about.

These clouds then parted around a center area which “opened up” to another visual layer beyond.  In the center space surround by the “universal star clouds”, a white light shown which I thought looked like a dim sun.  It resembled a lamp on low dimmer level and slowly glowed and became brighter.  For some reason, I felt that the “sun” could become infinitely bright at any moment.  However, the “sun” was a visible light of moderate radiance.

To make sure I wasn’t dreaming, I purposely closed my eyes for about 2 seconds, then I opened them back up.  The scene was still there on the ceiling.  I kept my eyes open for another 10 seconds or so, then closed them again.  The images slowly faded away until only the dark ceiling was apparent.

What I remember feeling was that the room I was in was a 2-dimensional flat plane.  The universal clouds in the ceiling opening seemed small but infinitely vast at the same time.  It was like the ceiling around the opening was blocking my vision of something infinite in space and size.

When the “sun” was revealed beyond the clouds, I felt the same experience.  The clouds were now blocking and even more infinite radiant light.

It felt as if the material world and room I was in was not real.  Just the same as looking at pages in a comic book.  The realness came into feeling with the clouds.  However, these also felt like a hindrance to the light.  I interpret the clouds to be the mind and ego blocking my way to the truth of the radiant light.  When I can fully get past the brilliant universal clouds, I will be able to experience the radiant light in pureness.

After this brief experience, I thought about what I saw for a few moments in amazement and disbelief, then went back to sleep.  Maybe it was my mind and ego which “closed the opening”.

To sum up the experience, it made my feel like this material world was fake and what I saw was the real truth to consciousness and awareness.  Some may describe this as the “isness” or the “self” or the spiritual state of being.  No feelings of fear, hate, love, or anything other emotion.  It was a feeling of a cosmic existence which was silent, gracious, full, and empty, all at the same time.  Like when you look into the night sky or space.  It’s just there and it just is.

I will continue to make strides towards a nondualism (Advaita) path and study of the Self.  What an eye opening experience!

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